Last 45 days before the first battle

Kumar Prafull, Patna.
Status analysis for UPSC Preliminary Examination Objective
Preliminary Test is after 45 days
Confidence Level: negative
Preparation Level: Zero
GS and CSAT Knowledge Level: no improvement since 2009
Disappointed and upset with my own performance in last one year. I have done nothing worth importance or proud since Jan 2011. In last six months I was completely evolved in my MBA program only. I had decided earlier that I will not involved in any extracurricular activities like entrepreneurial start-ups, events etc, so I was stick to the decision but my UPSC preparation failed to get the benefit of this decision, but the MBA course.
Now only one and half months are left and today for the first time I tried to give a monk test on the last year questions of paper II (CSAT) and my score is only 41 %; in Paper I (GS) most of the questions were out of my knowledge domain I was hardly able to answer 10 % of questions. This is ridiculous for a guy having no other option left but contest for UPSC exam and dreaming the victory.
Self-evaluation and intelligence is asking me to focus on other things and at the moment and think about UPSC next year, but emotions have a remaining ray of hope as 45 more days are left and 45 days means 810 hours for study (if I sleep 5-6 hours/day). I have no doubt that I am going to give one more chance to myself and work only UPSC in next 45 days. If I am going to fail anyway, let me fail after a fight.
4th April 2012

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